Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Friday, March 26, 2010

没什么,只想进来发泄一下下。

分手了,并没有什么特别的感觉。也许是因为我早已认清此结局,毕竟想要分手的念头,早已在去年年尾萌起,只是一直选着不说,以为我们之间还有挽回的地步。无可否认,我对他,的确有点儿愧疚,但是昨天与慈恩谈天以后,才发现这都是单方面的愚蠢。我一直以为是我做错了事,原来,错的不只有我。Anyway,我还是要感谢朋友们在这几天来的关心,谢谢你们。Muackz………. Love you all………


最近发现自己越来越不了解自己。有些东西,明明自己很喜欢,也晓得自己一定能拥有他,但是就是没有勇气去表态。也许,是知道我与他,能共存相依的时间并不多,所以害怕将发生的离别,害怕自己会受伤,会伤心。又或许,是自己不够勇敢,不敢再去面对心里的感觉,害怕伤害自己,伤害他,伤害其他。


我是典型的巨蟹座女孩,做事总是犹豫不决。决定了要放弃,但当看见他的付出,却又不禁被感动了。好想逃离他,但却又会想起他。想伪装不在乎,却又被自己的言行举止给出卖。好讨厌自己,讨厌自己恨不下心肠,讨厌自己做不到自己的承诺。说好了在这尽省的时光里,不会让任何事情发生,不会让他早已决定的计划动摇,不会让自己成为他的绊脚石的。我,快疯了。快撑不下去了。还好我还有秋彤陪在我左右,才还没让不该发生的事发生。Thanks you girl.. thanks your support, I really appreciate about it.


今天玩了一些心理测验,放上来当笔记。(hehe



靈魂顏色:紫色

容易落入情緒的無間地帶象徵權貴的紫色靈魂,細緻,敏感,特別能瞭解靈性事物或是新時代的各種模式。紫色 靈魂自很小的時候就有離群獨居的念頭,有時甚至可能有逃避現實的傾向。對一些未知領域的事情會感到好奇和渴望理解。但往往過多的想法和領悟卻無法抒發自己 的情緒問題,這會將紫色靈魂的心情從高處拉回低谷,總是讓自己的心靈徘徊在天堂與地獄之間。


任性指數是90

你的任性與孩子氣是身邊眾家親友皆知的,對於自己不喜歡的事情一定會快速的遠離,打死都不願意輕易的接 觸。撒驕、耍賴是你最拿手的絕招,凡事先挑揀簡單輕鬆的來做,絕對不輕易的招攬責任事情,只要一不合你意,馬上就會大耍小姐少爺脾氣!


你的心靈黑洞是什麼----我的選擇: 螺絲起子


你的內在是完全沒有安全感的,希望有個人站出來說他要保護你,你需要的是能保護你的巨人,讓你覺得自己不 是孤單寂寞的,遇到事情都有人可以幫你做決定,或是提供你經驗跟答案。


Friday, March 19, 2010

巨蟹座 (超准内)+ latest relationship status

巨蟹是心软的,容易被感动,即使表面看起来总是有一副硬硬的壳,但那壳子底下是一颗柔软敏感到极至的内心。它们面对一份感情是犹豫再三 的,不要说它们懦弱,它们只是明白自己是容易受伤的。他们对感情抱有信仰,相信纯真、相信天长地久,所以有时是挑剔的。 这是一层表面坚硬的壳,其实攻克轻而易举,因为蟹蟹有一颗柔软的心。

蟹蟹恋爱了,这时的它们变的很粘人,很婆妈,因为你是它的中心,它会为你考虑很多,饭吃了吗?天气会变了吗?记得带伞哦!路上车多,慢点走哦!…….. 如此类! 蟹蟹是深情而痴情的,爱上一个人会爱的很深,即使明知道没有结果也很难自拔。这是巨蟹的一种固执,想要得到的东西,往往不会轻易放手。有时,一段没有结果 的恋情会成为蟹蟹的生活重心。这无疑是痛苦的,但又难以自拔。然而,巨蟹的不安全感又在内心大叫着放弃,所以这时的蟹蟹总是在坚持和放弃的巨大矛盾中苦苦 煎熬着。学会放弃是蟹蟹的一门功课. 当然,如果蟹蟹真的决定放弃了,它的坚决会让所有人吃惊。 要记住:除了你自己,没有人可以伤害到你 蟹子是痴情的,但又不善于表达,面对自己心爱的人拘谨、放不开。它们的幽默感此刻变得生涩。 蟹子是深情的,但又不善于把握,为什么一次次控制不住自己的情绪,说出明知不该讲的话?

分裂而善于幻想的寄居蟹在说巨蟹之前,先说说几个一直以来欣赏的几个偶像,他们都不同,但他们有一个共同点,就是,他们都是巨蟹男。周星驰,王家卫,罗大 佑,李宗盛,梁朝伟,张学友……一般在每次排行榜中总是靠末的巨蟹们,看起来并没有很明显的个性,但是,他们在艺术方面的直觉和敏锐却是别人难以匹敌,从 这几个人名里就不难看出。他们在生活中都是温文尔雅的,被动的,甚至往往是沉默的,但是在他们的电影,歌曲中,却展露出令人惊异的才华,让我们总是不由自 主的为之倾倒。当周星驰让我们笑得泪水横流的时候,我们也早听闻其实戏外的他认真严肃,不苟言笑,对待朋友和情人都很苛刻;我们知道在戏里演什么都神形毕 似的影帝梁朝伟同性格南辕北辙的射手刘嘉玲20多年同居,至今都不愿结婚,他总是说,其实他的人生就是在戏里;我们知道张学友出道前曾经是黑社会的小混 混,天天宿醉,自暴自弃,也看到张学友成名后依然为了家庭拼命打拼,几近崩溃……   

这就是巨蟹,其实,最能说明巨蟹特质的,就是--分裂无论是哪一种蟹,他们都有着分裂的思想。他们渴望安定,也渴望出人头地,他们内心充满艺术的灵 感,夸张的幻象,但是在现实生活中,他们总是低眉顺眼,很难真正展露心中的狂想。所以在艺术的舞台上,他们反而得以施展,让心中奇异的狂想放大到极致,他 们可以将任何一首歌一个角色演绎的入木三分,所有来自于生活中被动的接受,在艺术的殿堂上得到了最好的宣泄,所以巨蟹真的应该属于舞台。即使没有好的歌喉 没有好的外形,但是他们有良好的感受力和表现力,他们的性格实际上更像是一只寄居蟹,在真正自我的生活中,他们常常将自己包裹的很紧,但在诠释和演绎别人 的时候,他们那内心的感情得到了释放。   

巨蟹座的另一个长处是他们有着哲学的思考力世界因两股力量相互消长,而水象就是典型的阴柔之力。水象星座的人有一种天生的宇宙观,巨蟹也是如此,加之 他们天生有母爱的情结,所以他们的思考往往带有着人性化的关怀。所以从事与艺术相关的行业的巨蟹,无论如何都可以算是幸运的巨蟹,因为能够得以发挥天然的 性格所长。但是不是每个巨蟹都有这样的机会,所以大多数巨蟹都会感到自己的压抑和痛苦。他们不是没有渴望,相反他们需求很多,渴望很多,但是他们总是躲在 自己的壳里做着各式各样的幻梦,只是在想,很少实施。所以如果你看到的总是低眉顺眼的巨蟹实际上并不是真正的巨蟹。那只是巨蟹的一个假象。   

永远无法抹去的自卑巨蟹们其实是自我感觉很好的心高气傲的一群人,但是却又难以克服时时刻刻想躲进壳里的自卑感。他们天生多疑和敏感,碰到困难,就先 躲进壳里,自欺欺人,在梦中编织自我的安全感,而从来没有想到如何主动将危机转化为机遇。他们对待困难的消极方式,使他们总很难真正木秀于林,他们总在捕 捉他们认为最好的时机,但是那个时机却总是无法到来,其实世间哪有万全之策?当蟹蟹们艰苦的自我互博之时,大好时机已经失去。但是要改变这种天生的自卑感 确乎很难,蟹蟹们几乎完全不由自主。

怀旧是巨蟹们的人生主旋律巨蟹们非常怀旧。他们喜欢旧东西,怀恋旧感情,对家庭有着天然的眷恋。泛黄的相片,褪色的丝带,尘封的梳妆台……所有一切带有浪 漫情调的旧物,都可以让他们独自神伤,黯然追想,他们总是沉浸在过去的回忆里,永远记得年少时的孤寂敏感,永远记得初恋情人,多年后仍然四处找寻初恋情人 的消息,慰籍多年来始终保持新鲜的记忆。所以王家卫的电影总喜欢用这样的句式开头:多年以后……   

忽冷忽热患得患失的爱情他们天生悲观,永远需要多一点,更多一点的安全感。为什么他们如此需要安全感,因为他们天生就没有安全感,所以他们是很容易恐 慌的,所以他们也就变得非常的多疑和猜忌。爱上一个巨蟹是要仔细思量的,因为他们会突然忽冷忽热,突然置之不理,突然恶言相向,但是其实他们并非不爱你, 他们有时候是在跟自己呕气。他们渴望天天24小时同你粘在一起,他们对爱人有着强烈的占有欲,恨不得掏心掏肺给你,他们关注你的点点滴滴,小到为你买一支 发卡,大到帮你选择哪路公车……他们都费劲心思,他们时时刻刻每件事都为你考量,但又因为付出的不停增加而变得越来越担心害怕,会不会得不到对等的爱。所 以他们会突然变得冷淡了,也许只因为你一个眼神,他们就觉得你已经不如从前,于是开始无休止的试探,他们说话总是转弯抹角,但是却总希望你永远清晰表态, 假设某天你也含糊了一下,那就完了,蟹蟹们立刻条件反射的开始惴想出无数个虚拟场景,在无尽的悲观中,意淫出种种悲惨场面,然后再见你时,就已经是冷口冷 面,甚至说出无比绝情的话语--所以,你和巨蟹的他们,是要努力去磨合的,给他们足够的信赖和安全,他们回馈你的,绝对让你感动的热泪满盈。   

虚伪包装下易感的心实际上巨蟹善于伪装。他们喜欢笑,无论何时何地,他们常常微笑,也许这笑容有时候让人欣慰,但有时候却会让人感到非常的虚伪。当然 巨蟹们也总有自己的小奸小坏,但是他们虚伪的前提却总是先为了保护自己。他们对自己应得的利益是淄铢必较,有时候会让人感到他们是不是很小心眼,但是,在 朋友聚会等场合上,他们又绝对是豪爽大方,主动抢着付账的人。所以其实巨蟹是个公私概念很明确的人,他们对该得的绝对毫不客气,而对待朋友,他们又觉得其 实这点钱根本不算什么。他们是眷恋朋友和家人的,他们基本都有些喜欢酒。而且酒量都还不错,因为他们眷恋那种宾客相尽欢的气氛,更眷恋着家的和乐融洽之 感。所以巨蟹们喜欢做饭,即使不会做饭也对美食有天然偏爱,他们懂得享受居家生活,所以巨蟹们有个理想婚姻是最快乐的事情。问题是巨蟹们却常常选择晚婚或 不结婚,因为他们多疑又害怕,他们总是对新幻境充满怀疑,对新的家庭又向往又拒绝,在自我矛盾中,不断蹉跎了年华。   

自己为自己创造安定感觉巨蟹们总是不安,这是一种不好的感觉,因为如此,许多巨蟹枉然蹉跎,终日郁郁。其实,巨蟹们可以尝试自己为自己创造安定的感 觉。找一个家里人都喜欢的对象,建立一个自己的家,也许巨蟹会发现自己会变得安稳很多。找个摩羯是比较理想的选择。或者找一个自己的爱好,倾注所有的心 血,自己也会变得安定很多。当然蟹蟹们也许会说,你这是站着说话不腰疼啊,要是那么容易的话,还用得着你说吗?呵。但是,无论怎样,当我们自己意识到自己 的不安,就该努力去克服他,其实壳外的世界,没有那么可怕,这是真的。   

总的说来,巨蟹们很可爱,尤其是在艺术上有成就的那些人,他们创造的都是令人仰止的丰碑,所以巨蟹们不必没来由自卑,其实你们都很出色!

**just break with my bf today, settle it in a very peaceful manner...he so calm,make me feel so scary. Anyway, i still appreciate he can accept it.... Bloggie, you know what, I really feel this horoscope indication very accurate...I admit that I break with him because I no longer feel secure with him, because we didn't meet with each other as frequent as we did before.

***I pleaded guilty. I know my relationship with him is unfair, since the 1st day we together. He too similar with "him", intelligent,funny and like mangga, I thought i will find the feeling again if we together. But the fact is on opposite, he still himself, and he is not "him". Then, I try to accept whatever he give,his love and care...but still, my heart had locked since "him"hurt me. His good, i'm not entitle to enjoy. I'm the wrongdoer in this relationship. So, I wanted to stop it,since early of this year,but as cancer, I'm afraid, I' afraid I will hurt him, then hurt myself....I dragged, dragged and dragged, finally i find my gut to voice it out.... So, that we come to the end....

**** Lesson I've learnt, never ever start a relationship when you are unsure. It feel bad to hurt someone who like you.. And never ever crush into someone, because you might be hurt by him... So what to do, just stayed single la, till the locked be open, till the crab become hard from inside, till the cancer put off the mask.... Then, no one will get hurt....


***** Will the day come? I wonder, because I'll never put effort to overcome this. I have no confidence, I afraid, i'm loser....Just waited and see how..... and pretend I'm strong.




Saturday, March 6, 2010

my TFS

Thursday
1st time went for college badminton ‘training” at Shun Jin
Felt so ashamed, played too bad.
Aiyo, need more practice, must play better and better.
Oh ya, my hand and legs now still paining lei,
Marcus said it is due to I didn’t warmed up properly…
*** I think my hand become weak the happiest must be Kean Hoe,
Coz he now can say whatever he want, without fearing someone will hit him…
**hahaha,Elaine a little bit violence, need to be lady for a while..


Friday
It is MQ birthday,we went to ate Japanese food at Mid-valley
Haha, she looked so pretty that day,
Junior told a lot of lame jokes,really cold gei
LOL,but Mq have next round,
So we just stayed there until around 9 pm
Aiyo, wearing high heel that day,
Now my feet totally damage….

Saturday
Went to sister company,
Had briefing for MATTA fair,
Actually Monday and Tuesday also got briefing,
But I’ll only go for Tuesday ,coz Monday I have class at night…
Hm…. You know, my this month allocated budget almost spent all le,
Need to find jobs = money $$$$
Aiyo, so “fan”

Monday, March 1, 2010

Bai Nian

Yesterday went to bai nian at collegemates’ houses…

It is the very 1st time I doing so, haha,not a bad experiences.

We went to Jake, Junior and Kean Hoe house,

Aiyo, three also got dogs one,made me so scare,

So prior to that day, I asked them to “ikat” their dogs when we’re there…

(haha, thanks for co-operation, I really appreciate about that)

Well, on that day (that mean yesterday la),

We,initially planned to start our journey at 12.00pm…

But due to miscommunication, some reached late…


Our 1st stop was at Jake’s home,

You know what, I already starving in the journey,

When I reached there and saw the layers cake on the table,

I’m so delighted about it….

I ate two pieces before I feel better…

Anyway, I wanna thanks Aunty (Jake’s mummy) for the lunch,

( nasi pulut + curry chicken that is not spicy),

And also for holding the dog when we left… (haha)


Our 2nd stop is at Junior home,

OMG, you know how many dogs do Junior have?

He have FIVE, oh my, how can he live with so many dogs????

I sat in the car and waited Junior to rush all the dogs backed to their cages,

Before I went in and said “Aunty, gong xi fa cai’..

Aiyo, Junior niece very cute lei,look chubby,

I like Junior’s room’s mirror nei, very big and show our reflection damp nice….

By the way,the room toilet door created us a little problem,

See Wei had been locked in the toilet, and we have to ask help from Junior,

Lol, that door require some skills to open it gei..


After that, we went for steamboat barbecue,

I think, I and See Wei ate the most nei, at least among the girls la,

Felt so satisfied lei,

So guys,listen here, please never thought that

Girls who look slim will eat less, See wei and I will be the best example…

So next time, look after your wallet, when you have a date with a slim girl….


Well, our final stop was at Kean Hoe home,

Lol, Kean Hoe really can’t control well his dogs,

While I inside the house and Kean Hoe playing with his dog outside,

I stood at the door there with the metal door been closed,

The dog suddenly ran out from Kean Hoe’s hug,

Althought the dog size is obviously can’t make it way into the home,

By I still very afraid, or can said been frightened,

I ran back to my seat as fast as I could,but because Marcus blocked the way,

I fell and sat on him, aiyo, so pai sei nei….

Tell the truth,

If the scene happened when there have no others in living room accompany me,

I definitely will break into cry…..

Well, our journey end at 9.30pm….

Then Marcus send Ah B, See Wei and I home….

Thanks…….


*** Overall, I have a good very good day,

Except for the unfortunate things happened in Kean Hoe home…

So, I want to thanks all of you, Jake, Junior, Kean Hoe, Marcus, Suki, See wei, Michelle, Jessica, Ah b, Andrew and Thomas, for the day…